Yesterday I attempted to do a regular bank transaction which should have taken a few minutes...if that. To my surprise I was unable to complete it. So thinking there must have been some mistake I called my bank to find that they had decided to withdraw a previous agreement that I have had with them for some years now. On asking Why? I was given a load of bank policy, standard, what I call 'read from a sheet in front of them' answers and no alternative questioning or reasoning on my part would get them to budge or explain it to make any logical sense to me. So feeling like a statistic rather than a valued customer I resorted to explaining that this was utter B*****t, and I no longer wanted to deal with them as a bank any longer. This of course was cutting off my nose to spite my face and would in actual fact make me much worse off, and leave me floundering in a very open sea with no piece of floating wood to hold on to.
It became a very distressing phone call lasting about 2 and a half hours with no solution in sight short of hitting the bottle and hoping it would all go away. However I knew that it wouldn't go away. So I glanced up at my pinboard above my laptop in search of some guidance from the collection of motivational stuff I have there. My eyes fell on a statement by Eleanor Roosevelt. She said:
"Dear Kathy, You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face....You must do the thing you think you cannot do"
I realised that the reason I was so upset, was that I was scared.
I was scared of losing my home. I was scared of being a failure to provide security as a mother to my 2 sons. I was scared that this 'big company' had the power to talk down to me and control me just because they felt like it. Who the hell did they think they were, meddling in my personal business when at the end of the day they don't really give a s**t, and they don't even know me personally.
If they did, they would know that I'm not the kind of person to sit around all day claiming any free handouts available being brainwashed by daytime TV. They would know that I have high standards for myself and those around me. I want the best for me, my family and all of the lives I am now influencing through building the LATIN FIT business.
All of the women in my classes that have lost masses of weight. All of the women that now have the confidence to wear a pair of shorts. My God, some of them even sweat now. They glow with confidence. You should see them strut out of the door with massive grins on their faces at the end of a class. I thought of these women and how if I didn't have access to funds then I would not be able to provide better venues and pay for all the stuff you need to function in business. I thought NO WAY can this bloody company treat me this way.
So then I got angry and feeling thoroughly 'picked on' I said,
"Do you know what, Success is the Best Revenge"
So I did the thing I thought I could not do which was to get straight back up and not give myself any time wallowing in the 'Why Me?' pool of dirty water.
I got straight on facebook and contacted people who had being 'thinking' about sorting their bodies out and hadn't quite gotten round to it. I told them all, look get your joggers on, stop messing about. I'm here I'll help you. If you are serious about your health and fitness, let me take you there. I thought. I need bodies in these classes. The fitter and healthier we all are. The more we stay away from processed foods and mind altering chemicals in our foods the clearer our minds will be. The more self aware we will become. The closer we will be to who we really are. The less soap operas we watch and the more oxygen in our brains from exercise, fresh air, fresh water and nutritious foods, the better decisions we will all make for ourselves and our families. Because lets face it, decision making is not the first thing they teach you at school if at all. They mostly tell you what to do, think and say just so you can tick the right boxes, get great results and they get more funding, and invite more students and the cycle continues........anyway, my rant has digressed.
So I go and teach the class last night and lose myself in the music for a while. Then on the way home it all comes slamming back like a bad hangover. So instead of going straight home, I drive around looking for halls to rent. I know I need a better quality venue to attract more people. My last stop off was a gym which usually I thought just have payroll teachers on their books. I met the wonderful studio manager who said yes I could hire a room and charge my usual price. I was so bloody excited. RESULT! A brilliant room with equipment and mirrors and changing rooms and showers. BRILLIANT!
So back to my original statement of 'Is a problem really a problem?'
My original 'problem' yeaterday turned out to be the ignition to light the fire in my belly to get angry, determined, motivated and passionate enough to find that venue last night. It wasn't out of desperation, but determination to make this the business the best it can be. I'm still not happy that that 'happened' to me yesterday, or the way that it did. But I'm grateful to the universe for giving me this challenge to blast away any trace of complacency I may have had.
As it happens, my follow up phone call today to said bank resulted in the person I was speaking to offering me all sorts of solutions to the problems this bank policy was having on me and her actually taking an honest interest in what I was saying and doing. She also explained to me that the bank routinely pick half of their accounts to apply this ruling to. Unfortunately/fortunately(???? I'm not sure yet) yesterday was my turn. The biggest solution was that she was going to restore my account back to its original status (albeit for a limited time).
I know that in the past I would have hit rock bottom faced with similiar circumstances and am so grateful for the learnings that I have gained over the last few years of personal development. Deep down now I know that NOTHING can harm me. I will always be looked after no matter what. I know that I have a lot of hard work ahead of me and some massive challenges (I'm still figuring out how to build my email list on MailChimp) but I know that if I see every so called 'problem' as something else to be dealt with and then just moved out of the way, I will see the light shining behind it.