The act of love, or of extending ourselves beyond ourselves to love another (and by another, that could mean another person, another stage of life, or even another side of our personality that is usually kept hidden away), is to enter into unchartered territory. Because even if we've been in love before, or we've been in love with the same person for years. If we want that love to grow, then we have to move forward. Ever growing, ever learning.
This is the unchartered territory. We must do things that we are not accustomed to. This requires change! To some of us, this word stimulates excitement. To a lot of us however, it produces fear. You may say, "well I don't have the courage to change. I'm too scared. What if It doesn't work out? What if they leave me? What if people laugh at me? What if I get hurt? Courageous people can do those things. Not me. Courageous people don't get scared."
But is this really true I ask you?
Being courageous is not the absence of fear, but of taking action anyway despite the fear. If you are naturally resistant to change then the fear is inescapable. There is always going to be the risk of something not working out. There's definately the risk that the person may leave you. And believe me, someone somewhere at some point in your life as you change and enter new realms will be laughing at you. They'll probably laugh at you for staying in your current situation too, so you may as well get on with it. And as for getting hurt.....Yes it will definately be painful.
Is having your underarms waxed, painful? Oh yes! (depending who's doing them of course). Does the pain last long in comparison to the time spent between appointments with smooth armpits? No. Is it worth it? That's a matter of opinion. Compared to walking around with gorilla armpits, I would say yes. This would definately generate a few laughs & could cause some people to leave my company before getting to know me properly.
Is detoxing your body painful? Yes again. Not in an obvious way, but in a more, "I feel kind of unwell" sort of way. Is it worth it? I would again say yes. I've done it, and the first few days feel wierd, but the energy I had at the end. WOW!.....and my skin too. Glowing!
What about falling in love? For me? Everytime. Yes there's been a few times, and each time my heart feels wrenched at some point. It also feels the most amazing blissful euphoria, for the rest of the time. Would I swop that for a life of mediocre normality. Not a chance on this planet.
What about loving ourselves? To do that we would actually have to spend time and get to know ourselves, as we would another person. We may not like all we find. If we find some ugliness, what do we do? Should we give up on ourselves? Should we leave?...(bit tricky that one). Or should we nurture ourselves & do nice things for ourselves.
To avoid the pain of self discovery, we must never look inside. If we never look inside, we would never find out our likes and dislikes, and be in a constant state of confusion, unable to make a decision. When we truly love ourselves, we only want what's best for ourselves. It's like truly loving a small child...you would not do things that would harm them. You couldn't...(assuming you had a healthy balanced mind).
So to be actively in a loving relationship with ourselves, we would need to move forward, and be ever changing. This usually happens whenever you see a new opportunity. It could be going to a different place for your holidays next year. It could be starting a new evening class when school term starts again. It could be eating a new food that you've found out will decrease a certain health condition you have. All of these have a risk factor. But all, if embraced wholeheartedly will ooze benefits throughout your whole being.
The key is, to take small steps. Recognise that fear when it arrives and talk to it (I mean this literally - it really works). Show it who's boss. Feel the tingle of enjoyment and the freshness of somthing new. Enjoy it! The pain may come in soon. This could be your family nagging you for being out so much at nights while you go to evening class. It could be catching your friends talking about you as you walk into the room saying things such as
"Who DOES she think she is. Thinking she can lose all that weight. It's in her genes you know...I've seen her mother."
Expect this! It WILL happen. Don't worry over it. Just smile and move on. In fact, before you do. Thank them. Thank them for noticing that you are changing and thank them for the fuel to feed your growth. Soon you will be so far from this state of being, whether that's fat, unemployed, single, married, addicted to something or just plain depressed all the time, that you will feel such a sense of joy you'll have forgotten it. By the way. If you're feeling really down and bored with your life. Be grateful. It shows that you are dissatisfied with your current situation. Most people don't even realise that they hate their life. They just carry on because they think that that just is the way it is!! By being dissatisfied means you're changing. It's tough, keep going, it's a process. A lot of the things you are 'trying', are probably not working yet. Relax into the feeling. Know that it won't be forever. Let go of your familiar way of thinking and flow with the river of progress. If your intentions are good, then you'll find the next step to take. Sometimes it's a little hidden to one side. Brush it off, step on it, and look around at the view from there..............It should be so much clearer..........
Til next tme
Have a wiggle